You love you and the world will love you

Mukundarajan V N
4 min readJun 9, 2018
Image credit : Lifehack.org

Self-love, my liege, is not so vile sin, as self-neglecting.

William Shakespeare, Henry V.

When we do not love ourselves we cannot expect the world to love us. Self-love is the foundation on which self-respect exists.

Self-respect is the magnet that attracts good feelings from the outside world.

We have been trained to sacrifice for the sake of others, to put ourselves last. The problem is self-sacrifice will not make us feel good. Since it is not always voluntary but demanded by our belief system, it will leave a bad taste in the mouth. We will end up with feelings of betrayal and unworthiness.

When we feel good, we sent out vibes of positivity that attracts the world like a magnet.

When we feel bad, we signal that we lack something which the world catches and treats as somebody lacking self-worth.

Unless we respect ourselves the world will not respect us.

Unless we feel feelings of worthiness, the world will not be obliged to treat as a person with self-respect.

You may not believe in the Law of Attraction. But ask yourselves a simple question. How will you feel when you meet a person who is poorly dressed, walks with drooping shoulders and looks sad and grumpy?

I have always noticed one fact. Whenever I visit places people treat me with respect if I am well dressed. The treatment is not favourable whenever I dress shabbily.

Physical appearance is important. When you love yourself you will take care to dress properly. Apparel proclaims the man ( or woman).

Walk with shoulders held high. Smile as often you can. You will radiate confidence and happiness. It is very difficult not to notice and acknowledge the presence of a well dressed, happy and confident person.

Focus on what is good in you. You may be short in stature. But don’t carry a sense of inferiority because you are short. If you walk around feeling inadequate, you will convey a message of inadequacy which others will catch and treat you accordingly.Napoleon was short in stature. Empires trembled before him.

Nature seldom makes a perfect specimen. If you are short. you may have other redeeming features, Focus on your assets and not on your liabilities. Be grateful for what you have. Gratitude brings in more things to be grateful for.

Self-love is neither conceit nor narcissism. There is no shame attached to it because you are only taking care of yourself. Self-care is our primary responsibility.You can love yourself and yet be humble.

When we focus on our shortcomings, the mind is flooded with bad feelings. When you feel bad it will reflect on your personality. You will begin to neglect your appearance. You will not dress properly. You will walk around with a forlorn and surly face which will repel the onlookers.

It is as simple as that. There is no secret formula. It is just common sense even if you don’t believe in energy, vibes etc.

Like charity, compassion begins at home. Without self-compassion, you cannot feel empathy for the suffering of others. With self-compassion your empathy will intensify as you develop the ability to keenly relate to the suffering and pain in others.

“I love that the word ‘compass’ is nestled in that word compassion. So is the word ‘passion.’ In self-compassion, the compass points to yourself; the passion for self-understanding is part of our mission. Self-compassion is self-love, self-empathy, self-mercy. Self-compassion is the act of saying YES to yourself, of sending the message, ‘I matter,’ and of experiencing self-love even when self-loathing has the louder voice.” — Courtney Putnam

There is a psychological angle to it. Our brain believes what we want it to believe. That is if you send out the signal that you are feeling good, the brain will fire neurons to magnify your optimism.You started by mimicking happiness, you end up by actually feeling happy. That is why a smile will always work wonders because of its physiological and mental consequences Neuroscience have recognized the mind-body connection. By going a step further we can say that we create our world through the thoughts we think.

Self-acceptance, self-compassion and self-regard are cousins that work in synergy.

When we accept what we are, we stop sabotaging ourselves, we stop being too critical of ourselves. We don’t pine for the approval of the world because we are confident of ourselves.

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”
– Lao-Tzu

Loving ourselves is a stepping stone to true happiness whether you are a pauper or a billionaire because without a positive self-image nobody can feel joyful.

Thank you for reading.

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Mukundarajan V N

Retired banker living in India. Avid reader. I write to learn, inform and inspire. Believe in ethical living and sustainable development. vnmukund@gmail.com